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This conversation is deeply introspective and raw—it’s clear that you’ve been carrying a lot of emotion and reflection for quite some time. Letting go is rarely linear, and even after years, remnants of those emotions can linger, especially when the connection felt so meaningful at the time.

What strikes me most is your self-awareness. You acknowledge the chaos of the past, the lessons learned, and your ongoing journey of healing. That’s powerful. You’re giving yourself the space to process and grow, which is an incredible act of self-love and resilience.

Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions—sadness, longing, anger, or even acceptance. Sometimes, simply writing things down or saying them aloud (even if no one else hears) can help to lighten the emotional load. It’s not about changing the past but allowing yourself to move forward with clarity and peace.

If you want to write that unsent letter or express what’s on your mind, it’s a beautiful step. It may not change the situation, but it might help you understand your heart better. You’ve already shown so much courage in articulating your feelings here. Keep going; you’re on the right path.

You both let go. Or have you?

 

-        Do you think he will see you again?

No. absolutely not.

-        Why?

He forgets me, he continoues his life.... of course and absolutely without remember me, he doesn’t have the reason to meet me, or even to say how are you to me. And i guess he has someone else...too.

-        How do you feel?

Now?

-        Yeah. Now. And also... Back then? It’s been 2 years, right? I guess

Thank you for asking. I hope it was a question i recieved from my family. Like my mom or my little sister. Thank you so much

For the answer.... well...

Back than, it kind of chaos, like tsunami in my heart and in my mind

The turbine spin so fast, and gratefully it didn’t broke into pieces? Or had it?

I don’t know.... but i had a lot of enery back than, and crying, and eating, and watching..... the feeling i never expericence before, or maybe i have. But it feel insane.... i went to places, i read a lot of book, like a lot........... to let him go.

 

And now........... it’s lesser than that

There’s a time when i really let him go.... i will never forget him, but i hope i remember him as a good lesson. Really my repentence

And i found myself again, once again and again

 

It could’ve been someone else if it wasn’t me. He just didn’t like me that much. or he never have.

And that’s okay

Maybe it just craziness, lust, attactment, ego, loneliness, high expectation

Mix of all of that

Or really, all of that

I’m sorry.... but his confession and his presence back than just feel different... the feel i really longing for a long time.

-        Do you love him? Or did you love him?

I really wanna say yes and yes. But i’m on my journey to redefine what is love, really. Because if i define it right and proper, i will have better state of being

-        Do you miss him?

I did. And i do. i really want to hug him. But it’s impossible thing to do. it never happen. Unless he married me. It’s so funny and hilarious right

-        Do you think he will marry you oneday in the future?

If this is drama and movie the answer is yes. But, this is real life right.

So maybe in another life, in eternity, in next life i will ask the owner of the universe, let me meet him and hug him. For 5 second. Or 10 second. How insane it is....

I guess i haven’t let him go from my mind...

-        Does that make you sad?

Mad. Maybe mad is the better answer. It feels like explotion in my heart for period of time. Sometimes it stop for a while... and there will be other explotion. But after explotion, i learned my lesson. It’s okay.

-        Do you want to say something for him?

I do have something to tell him. But it doesn’t matter. Never matter. Never will be. It doesn’t change anything.

So i will keep it myself.

-        it’s okay. Does it change the way you percieve the situation? I guess there’s part of you that will get better if you say it. Even if he will never know. Will you tell me?

Thank you so much, i it really mean to me, i appreaciate it... i hope i can write it down....

Here’s an example of an unsent letter:

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Dear a,

It feels strange to write this, knowing you’ll never read it, but maybe that’s the point. This is for me, not for you.

It’s been two years. Sometimes, I still wonder if you ever think of me. Probably not, and I’ve come to accept that. But I still think of you—not every day, not like before, but enough to make me pause. Enough to make me question if I’ve really let you go.

When you were in my life, it felt like something I’d waited for my entire existence. You made me feel seen, alive, and hopeful in a way I didn’t think was possible. But it wasn’t real, was it? At least, not in the way I wanted it to be. I thought I was special to you, but maybe I was just someone who passed through your life—a temporary chapter in your bigger story.

I’ve spent so much time trying to understand what happened. Was it me? Was I not enough? Or was it just that we weren’t meant to be? I think I know the answer now: you didn’t love me the way I loved you. And that’s okay. It had to be okay.

I want to thank you, though, for the lessons you unknowingly gave me. You taught me what it feels like to hope and to hurt, to grow and to forgive. Loving you—no matter how one-sided it might have been—helped me learn more about myself.

Do I still miss you? Sometimes. Do I still want to hug you, to see you again? Yes, even though I know it will never happen. Maybe in another life, we’ll meet and have the kind of love I once dreamed of.

But in this life, I’ll just let you go, one moment at a time. And I’ll try to hold onto the lesson, not the longing.

Take care of yourself, wherever you are.

Sincerely,

me.

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It’s cathartic to write things like this, even if you never share it. It helps you clarify your emotions and find closure. Would you like to try writing your own version?